House of Swank

For The Birds

Dear Local Birds:

I thought we had a nice little thing going.  I'd mow the lawn and futz around in the garden, and then you'd come along and look all cute while feasting on all the worms and bugs that had been disturbed in the process.

I enjoyed watching you out the windows, and was strongly considering developing a garden that you would enjoy even more, so that I would have the best yard on the block for you and your friends.

And how do you thank a girl?  NOT by taking a giant crap on her windshield.  Nearly every damn day.  Even if none of you are the culprits, you've got more pull with the outsiders than I do.  They should be crapping on the car that is permanently parked in the neighbors yard, not on my car.

I'm willing to work with you on other issues, but only if you address this one issue for me.

Love,
Swankette

The Answer: 140 gallons

The question:  If I let the "grass (mostly moss with some weeds mixed in at this point)" in the back yard grow to a height of two feet, what will the volume of the clippings be when it's all mowed down?

Your standard yard waste container is 64 gallons.

Just play around with that math in your head for a little bit.

Rethinking Rhododendrons

Earlier I mentioned that one of our rhododendron plans looked like it might have to be relocated due to its proximity to our power line.  After today's expedition in the garden, I'm rethinking that.

As I plod my way through the task of getting our yard in shape I'm coming to a very blatant realization.  The people who lived here before us were lazy in the yard.  As long as it didn't look like total shit they let it be, and if it looked like total shit they covered it up.  See:  weed sheet and barkdust covering more weeds than you could imagine.

Today I was weeding around another rhododendron, about 10 feet away from the earlier problem child, and noticed it had some of the same issues as the first plant.  I also tackled the bush next to that, which SEEMED to be in lovely shape.  It was full of foliage, nicely shaped, and bloomed for a VERY short time early in the season.

Turns out that bush was such a tangle of branches I almost had to destroy the whole thing to get it where branches were in some sort of order related to the main trunk of the bush.  I suspect it had never been pruned in its life, or at least for a VERY long time.

So now my diagnosis is neglect and disease.  I bet if I pull back the weed sheet the trunk and roots of all of our bushes are being smothered by weeds.

Treatment:  prune the hell out of everything to try to bring things back to life.  As soon as the yard doesn't look totally overgrown with weeds get rid of the barkdust and weed sheet and start bringing things back to life.

Welcome to the Jungle

I started to mow the lawn last night.  I did not finish the job.

Our lawnmower is a cordless electric that, according to the instruction book, can mow 1/4 acre on a single charge. 

The lawn was long enough that after about 500 square feet the mower said "Fuck that shit, I'm done for the night" and lost it's charge.

Between charging the mower and spotty spring weather and the fact that I still need to do some branch removal before I can mow the back yard, I suspect I'll be done mowing the lawn sometime in May.

White Litter

I spent a fair amount of time working on the yard this weekend, and am proud to report we no longer have the white-trashiest house on the block.  That's more a statement on the fact that our ratio of cars:driveway space is 1:1 and several houses in the neighborhood go much higher than that.  We'll vault even higher in the rankings once the lawn has been mowed, which will take place as soon as the mower is fully charged and able to tackle the task.

Some thoughts/observations/plans for the yard:

The lawn desperately needs to be mowed, thatched and reseeded.  Eventually I think I'd like to minimize the lawn in the front yard in favor of pretty plantings and such.

Previous owners of the house loved bulbs - both tulips and daffodils are plentiful.  However, there seems to be neither rhyme nor reason to where they are planted.  Once they've died down for the year I plan on relocating them either to along the front walkway or along the sidewalk.  Right now I'm leaning towards relocating ALL of them to along the front walkway, including the ones in the planter box next to the front door, and re-purposing the planter box into an herb garden.

There is a rhododendron directly under where the power line comes into the house.  The plant appears to be burnt in several locations.  My powers of deduction tell me this is somehow related to the power line, so I'm contemplating turning that stretch of the yard into a rock garden.  Or perhaps bricking it in and putting a bench out there.  Something non plant related.

I'd like to plant a durable ground cover in the strip between the sidewalk and the street.  I just need to figure out what that ground cover should be.

The yard must have been in sad looking shape when the previous owners went to put it on the market.  They solved this by throwing down a weed protection sheet and throwing bark dust on top of it.  Two problems with this:  They didn't actually kill off the existing weeds before throwing down the sheet and some of them are surviving underneath the sheet and/or popping through gaps and holes.  Second, I hate the look of bark dust - probably holdover resentment from youthful summers spent having to spread the damn stuff and the ensuing splinters and such.  In the strip between the sidewalk and the street it currently covers some sad looking red lava rock. 

I'm really glad Sweetie and I are planning to stay in this house for a long time, because it's going to take YEARS to get this yard into good shape.

Triage

The temperatures have been topping 60 degrees here in the great Pacific Northwest, so today is the day I have finally acknowledged that we have a yard and started to do something about it.

The landscaping the house came with met the minimum requirements of landscaping around here.  (Dying) lawn in the front and back, a few rhododendrons a few rose bushes, and a healthy dose of fresh bark dust.  There are also three large, unidentified, trees in the back and a handful of unidentified bushes amongst the rhodies.

Because the lawn was in such crappy shape, and we had enough to bother ourselves with inside the house, upon moving in I proclaimed that I was ignoring the yard until spring.  Well, spring's not officially here yet, but the time has come all the same.

I have done minor gardening/yard care in the past:  I mowed lawns at both my house and my grandmother's house into my teen years, I had a vegetable garden once or twice growing up, and Gary Payton's apartment had a strip of plants surrounding it that I tried to prune and tame.  Still, I've decided I need to take it slow.  This will keep me from saying fuck it all, and hopefully prevent me from making any grave mistakes.

I've got a subscription of Sunset magazine coming my way for my birthday this year (Thanks Mom and Dad!), which will help give me a good to-do list.  Hopefully I'll be to the to-do list part of the process by the time the subscription kicks in.  A copy of the Western Garden Book has been acquired, and will make it's way here the first week of April - I could have had it this weekend, but have told my Mom she can obtain a replacement to hold up the lamp in the living room before I take it.

But it's going to take some time before we get to the point where we can plant anything.

For the time being I've decided to take 15 minutes a day to work in the yard.  Enough to make a visible dent in what needs to be done, and I'm focusing on a small enough piece of the yard in that time I can start to really get a feel for what needs to be done, and stat to prioritize.

First:  Getting rid of the dead stuff.  For the next few days this will be small branches that have blanketed the back yard (I suspect they are from the unidentified trees).  From there will move on to some random dead plants here and there.

Second:  Getting rid of the live stuff I don't want anymore.  Weeds.  Things that have started growing that I just don't like or is out of place.

Third:  Take care of the living stuff that I want to stay.  The lawn is in pitiful shape.  In the front yard it's just brown and pitiful.  The back yard seems more alive, but when you get close up you realize it's the moss that makes it green and lush and not actual lawn.  This will be a big, ongoing project.  I'm sure the rhodies and roses and other plants will need some maintenance as well, but that still needs to be investigated.

Finally:  Start to move forward.  There's already an area set aside for a vegetable garden.  I think I'd like to do a compost pile, but will need to do some planning and figuring on the best place for that to go.  I'd like it to be hidden near the heat pump, but not sure if there's space.  There are also many, many opportunities to add new plants to the mix that currently exists.

It's going to be fun.