House of Swank

Hi!

This is the first blog post officially made from within the confines of the House of Swank.  Wirelessley and everything!

Turns out that the only phone lines in the house (at least that I can locate) are in the dining room and the bedroom, so the broadband modem and wireless router are set up in a corner of the bedroom, and all of our internet needs will be taken care of via our laptops.  We may explore getting Sweetie's desktop connected to the internet, but at least for now we can check e-mail and websites from home. 

We can also check fantasy football stats, but that's not a plus for me at the moment, as the one week I decide to bench Vince Young he goes all crazy and scores points.  Grrr....

Off to make sure Sweetie's computer is functioning well, then to continue with the unpacking.

Swimming in Mediocrity

We are at the halfway point of the fantasy football season*, and it occurs to me that I have spoken very little about my team this year.  That is because there is nothing really worth saying about them, but I'll push on anyhow.

I'm in 6th place right now, out of 10 teams, with a record of 4-5-0.  Which is actually sort of astounding when you consider that I have the lowest cumulative points scored this season.  By a lot.  I've apparently had very favorable match-ups so far.  And a lot of dumb luck.

The biggest disappointment thus far has been Steve Smith, best wide receiver in the world to hear some say it at the beginning of the season.  I still think he's good.  He's just been plagued by the curse of crappy QBs this season.  As we all have.  That's the one area I was feeling good about until last week.  I had three QBs at the beginning of the season, and they were all doing respectably and sticking with their teams.  Then Chad Pennington had to go and get himself injured to a point where he wasn't worth holding onto anymore.

I've already started looking ahead to next season.  I have two goals for next season right now:

1)  Not face Ridin' Dirty in week 1.  The same team I've faced in week 1 all three years in the league.  He's sitting solidly in last place right now, so I'm hopeful about that.

2)  Have 3 keepers that are actually kept for the full season.  Damn Javon Walker and his knee surgery!

*  We are more than halfway through the season, but in our league you play 7 teams twice, 2 teams once, and the final week of the season is a power-match.  Therefore, I consider the halfway point of the season where we start the reruns of who we've played before.

Fantasy Football Simplified

In 2006 something like 40-50% of fantasy football teams with LaDainian Tomlinson won their championships. 

When you consider there are 32 teams in the National Football League, 3-4 running backs per team, and multiple other positions to take into consideration, that is a very statistically significant number.

I suspect that if you were to substitute "2007" and "Tom Brady" in the first sentence you would probably be pretty close to the truth at the end of this season.

Unfortunately, I do not have Tom Brady on my team.

I DO have the kicker who kicked the most field goals in any NFL game ever on my team.

He was on my bench this week. 

But I STILL won the week and beat my husband this week.  Why?  Chad Pennington is the bomb.  Other people mock him, but I love having him as my third string quarterback.  Seven weeks into the season, and he's still the starting quarterback for the J-E-T-S Jets!  And that's saying something this year.

More With the Hot NFL Players

An ASTOUNDING number of people are happening upon this blog wanting to find out who the hottest NFL Quarterbacks are.  So, because I'm bored, wanting to blog, have nothing real to blog about, and need SOME reason to feel good about my fantasy team, today we will do the list of hottest NFL players on In Tiki We Trust (my fantasy football team) as of today.

I'm going by current mugshot on NFL.com, because I've discovered that google images leaves too much room for discrepancy, and for long-time players will favor older photos over current photos.  For defenses I picked Ray Lewis of the Ravens (because he's famous), and his equivalent on the Giants.

Julius Jones, RB

Rob Bironas, K

Chad Pennington, QB

Vince Young, QB

Javon Walker, WR (whose freakishly large neck hurt him a lot)

Matt Hasselbeck, QB

Ravens, D (as represented by Ray Lewis)

Bernard Berrian, WR

Shayne Graham, K

Hines Ward, WR

Maurice Morris, RB (for two more days)

Ahman Green, RB (who would probably move up if he'd shave his beard)

Steve Smith, WR

Jason Witten, TE

Giants, D (represented by Antonio Pierce)

Warrick Dunn, RB

Julius Jones is lucky he's hot, and not injured, because he's holding onto his roster spot by a thread at the moment, and will likely be looking for work in the fantasy football world in the next couple of weeks.

If you've got a particular group of NFL hotties you'd like me to rate, just let me know.

P.S.  To the people finding the blog wanting to know who the hotter Manning is, you need to get your eyes checked.  Without any doubt it's Eli.  No contest whatsoever.

To John Stemper

A note to those finding this website while searching on "John Stemper" - if you happen to be John Stemper, or if you happen to know John Stemper, you should leave a comment or drop me an e-mail.  Especially if you've ever lived in Colorado and played Fantasy Football.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Jimmy Rollins
Miguel Cabrera
Fausto Carmona
Michael Young
Todd Helton
Steve Smith
Matt Hasselbeck
Vince Young

Double champion this week - baseball AND football!  Meaning I am completely mediocre in both fantasy leagues right now!  Yay me!

Balance

Every year in fantasy football it's the same story.  Either I have running backs OR wide receivers, but not both.  One group will totally rock it hard, and the other group won't even bother to show up most Sundays.

This year it's the wide receivers I have in full force - Steven Smith, Hines Ward and Javon Walker are the shining stars - and my running backs are all completely forgettable and falling fast.

The good news is that you can get away with activating only one receiver or back each week, as long as you have a total of 6 guys between the two categories (tight ends counting as receivers).  The bad news is in week 8 a huge portion of my team has a BYE week, so I'll be forced to activate whoever is available.  Assuming major changes aren't made in the meantime.

I dropped what could have been a decent running back in favor of an injured running back this week.  I think I may just give up on the backs completely this year.

Introducing In Tiki We Trust

The fantasy football draft is over, and with two games left to go tonight it looking like I'll have a loss for week 1.  My third year in the league, and I've played the same team every year in week 1.  Historically, I've won the game, but apparently I'm just showing him some sympathy this year.

So, without further ado, here's my current roster.  Changes will be made as the season progresses.

QUARTERBACKS:

Matt Hasselbeck - Seahawks
Vince Young - Titans
Chad Pennington - J-E-T-S Jets!

Hasselbeck and Young were both keepers for me.  I really dig the fact that my primary quarterbacks are an old, nerdy white guy, and a young, athletic black guy.  Quarterback pickings were lean this year, so I was happy I got a back-up as strong as Chad.  Who then had to go and sprain his ankle in the game.  I will likely hold onto him until it is determined just how bad that injury is.  He would have been a better pick than Vince this week, but I LOVE that Vince runs in his own touchdowns, but I don't really NEED my third quarterback until week 4.

RUNNING BACKS:
Warrick Dunn - Falcons
Ahman Green - Houston
Julius Jones - Cowboys
Deuce McAllister - Saints

It wasn't until typing this out that I realized all my RBs are from the South.  Probably won't be that way for long, as they ALL put in less than stellar performances this week.  I miss Tiki Barber!  You'd think with Joey Harrington at QB the Falcons would do nothing but run the ball, but apparently they NEED the ball in order to do that.  Thankfully, I legally only have to activate one of them a week.

WIDE RECEIVERS/TIGHT ENDS:

Bernard Berrian - da Bears
Steve Smith - Panthers
Javon Walker - Broncos
Hines Ward - Steelers
Tony Gonzales - Chiefs

Javon Walker was my third keeper for the year.  I was nervous about that, as there were better players available, but he has the potential to be a really studly player this year.  And I was afraid that whatever draft pick I gave up would cost me a key piece of my team.  I feel better about all of that now.  Primarily because I now own Steve Smith.  Who many experts consider to be the best wide receiver in fantasy football land this year.  This is quite astounding, as it means that another team decided they DIDN'T WANT to KEEP Mr. Smith.  And two other teams decided to pick SOMEONE ELSE with their first pick of the draft.  One team picked Tony "I love his ribs" Romo, as she was without quarterbacks at all and needed to get some while they were gettable.  The second picker decided Reggie Wayne and his 19 points from Thursdays game made him a preferable pick.  I'm OK with that, as it means I got myself a kick-ass wide receiver and 14 points for the week.

Tony Gonzalez sat on the bench this week, because although he is the second-best tight end in the universe at the moment he is a TIGHT END, who traditionally don't do as well as the wide receivers.  I was very glad of this fact when we were watching the pre-game shows yesterday (sans sound) and there was a headline that came across the screen that stated "Tony Gonzalez Threatened With Death" (or something similar).  We asked the Kansas City fans we were sitting with if they knew anything, and they were as worried as I was.  From the size and wording of the headline it seemed that perhaps he had a stalker at the team hotel, or had contracted some inoperable form of cancer last week.  He was playing Sunday, which made me feel moderately better, but still a bit worried.  We found out later that afternoon, that things weren't really all that bad.  Over the summer he suffered from Bell's Palsy, which is treatable (and was treated successfully).  Then, he had a blood test that came back with some scary results, until it turned up that blood samples had been swapped.  I'm sure neither of these events were fun for Tony Gonzalez, and there were some scary moments when he THOUGHT his life was in danger.  But that was all resolved quite some time ago, and his life was never actually IN danger, so all is well now.

KICKERS:

Shayne Graham - Bengals
Rob Bironas - Titans

I'm in love with Rob Bironas.  Have been since I started putting together my spreadsheet of doom in preparation for draft day.  He was the twenty-first best kicker on my list, which means he should have been left on the bench all season (10 teams, 2 kickers per team, and the lowest-scoring position means folks don't generally take 3 kickers unless they do something silly like drafting 2 kickers with the same BYE week.  Not that anyone in our league did that this year or anything, I'm just saying it's a possibility).  Anyway, back to Mr. Bironas.  As soon as I came across his name the first time I started humming "My Sharona, but substituting in his name "Rob Bironas."  As time passed, more lyrics were developed:

He's my little kicker man
My kicker man
Come on kick a field goal
ROB BIRONAS!

With a song like that, how could I NOT pick the guy?  My Sweetie says it's a bad idea to have a kicker and a QB from the same team, but it worked for me just fine my first season in the league, and I'm happy to have Rob Bironas on my team.

DEFENSES:
Ravens
Giants

The Ravens defense was one of the bright spots in an otherwise dim season for me last year.  I think they were one of my highest scorers week after week.  So much so that I briefly considered them as my third keeper.  But I knew that no one picks defenses until you get to the mid-rounds of the draft, so I figured third round, maybe fourth, I'd snatch them up and thus start the run on defenses.  Except in round 2 the person who picked right ahead of me took da Bears defense with his pick.  So I snatched up the Ravens right behind him.  (Thankfully I wanted the Ravens more than da Bears, but I knew I wanted one of those teams for sure).  Upon later questioning the other team owner indicated that he had given up his third round pick in a trade, and was afraid by the 4th round the good defenses would be gone.  Thus reinforcing why I didn't want to do a trade to improve upon Javon Walker.  The Giants defense seem to end up on my team every year.  I don't TRY to get them, or avoid it, they just always happen to be the best defense available when it comes time for me to pick one of my two defenses, and thus they are mine again.

Overall, and acceptable team, but one that will be able to use some fine tuning in the coming weeks.

Movin' on Up

This is the biggest weekend of the year for some folks, the weekend the NFL regular season begins.  As such, it is the weekend that my fantasy football league does it's draft.  Draft on Saturday, games on Sunday.

And, given that it is an odd-numbered year, that means I'm in Vegas.  This is the third time that as many teams that can make it come to Vegas, do the draft in someone's hotel room on Saturday and head to the local sports book on Sunday to watch all the games.

Sweetie and I planned ahead this year, and reserved ourselves a suite at the Imperial Palace to give a place to do the draft that didn't involve all ten owners piling onto a bed together.  By the time we checked in Friday night all the regular suites were gone, so we got upgraded to a Penthouse suite.  So I don't know if I can hang with all you common folk anymore.

Although I'm sure our room is nicer than most of the other rooms in the hotel, I don't know that I would give it full penthouse status.  Sure, it's bigger than most places I've lived (the bathroom alone is bigger than a few), and there's a balcony, but it's not all that plushly appointed.  Despite a bar the place only came with four glasses (two in the bathroom), and there was not a single plate or utensil to be had in the joint.  Which made for some creative solutions when making margaritas yesterday afternoon.

The nicest thing about the room is that the bed is king-sized, and features one of those beautiful super-firm mattresses only found in swanky hotels, where sleep is beyond restful.  Which is where I've spent an inordinate amount of time this weekend, because between the move, the hours Sweetie is keeping, and the fact that my parents' guest bedroom faces due East I am TIRED.  But a big nap Saturday afternoon, and being the only people in the city of Vegas in bed and asleep by 11 pm on Saturday has made a world of difference.

Now time to shower and help to lay claim to our viewing grounds for the games today.  We think we may have found a hidden gem in terms of location, comfort, and not having to wake up at the crack of dawn in order to have a chair.  We shall see if that pans out or not.

Introductions to the new team to come soon.  I am very excited this year, especially by my quarterbacks and my backup kicker.

I Cannot Be The Only One

Sweetie and I head off to Vegas on Friday for our fantasy football draft extravaganza.  We do the draft in Vegas every other year, and thus far whatever team I am rooting for in Vegas wins the season that year, so I'm feeling optimistic.

Because it's a weekend jaunt, and I'll be taking public transit to the airport, I plan on traveling strictly carry-on, which means that I need to be thoughtful when packing toiletries to make sure I don't go over the limits.

I thought it would be so easy, I'd go to Sephora, buy a travel-sized cleanser, and perhaps moisturizer, and be done with it.  No such luck.

Philosophy does not see to carry containers of 3 oz or smaller in any of their skincare products.  Which, given the number of women who travel, and those who don't want to check bags, is absolutely ludicrous in my opinion.  I wasn't even expecting to get away cheap, I just didn't want to have to do a lot of futzing to prepare for the trip.

So now I've either got to go buy small containers and transfer some product over, find some new product in a an appropriately sized container, or just skip washing my face for the weekend.

Thankfully Bumble and Bumble have been doing travel sizes for years.