House of Swank

Dear Santa

Christmas time is upon us, and with it comes the gift-giving and the people pestering me to find out what I want for Christmas.  Since it's seemed to work in years past, I'm going to go ahead and publish my list right here, right now (of course, anything you get me will be just lovely, but here are some specific ideas for you):

• A compact digital camera - the type that can easily be carried around in the pocket of your bag for spontaneous photo shoots of adorable infants.
• A new purse that I am calling in my mind my "mom bag" - something larger than a regular purse, but smaller than a diaper bag, that can accommodate regular purse-like things plus a snack and a couple of toys for the Hedgehog.  Here are some examples of things I like.  (Several of these are available at REI of all places).  A new wallet might be nice, too.
• I'm totally intrigued by the book Ratio.

Gift certificates can be nice, too:

• Nordstrom's or Macy's or Old Navy or somewhere similar so that I can go on a shopping spree for new clothes and/or shoes.
• Knitpicks, Yarnia or Twisted for yarn-y type things.  (If you want to buy me actual yarn-y type things and need some direction put a bug in my ear and I can compile a wish list at Twisted that you can shop off of).
• Powell's or somewhere similar for books and the like.
  

Or use your imagination, I'm sure you'll do just fine.  The one thing I DON'T need (which I only bring up because it's often a standard gift) is any sort of spa-like gift certificate.  I've still got one from last Christmas I need to use, and it can be stressful if you've got too many spa treatments available that haven't been used yet.

State Memories: Idaho

In ninth grade I sort of randomly ended up joining a Girl Scout Cadette troop.  It just so happened that the Girl Scout Diamond Jubilee Roundup was happening that summer somewhere outside of Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. 

As luck would have it, virtually every member of my troop got our cycles in synch and we were all suffering from that time of the month simultaneously.  While camping.  Without flush toilets.  Or showers.

There were moments I was seriously jealous of my troop-mate with scoliosis.  Because of her back brace she had to shower daily, and thus was allowed the luxury of a solar shower.  No such luck for the rest of us.

You want to get all "I am Woman Hear Me Roar"?  Put a dozen 14-15 year olds on the rag together in a handful of tents in the middle of the forest for the week.  It was truly an eye-opening experience.

THEM

It started innocently enough.  I have a hard time justifying paying the prices they charge for infants' clothing that will be grown out of in just a few short months, so I started scouring the clearance racks while I was still knocked up.  I now not only keep an eye on the clearance racks, but am figuring out which thrift stores around town are likely to get me the best deals as well as the nicest clothes, and am looking a size or two ahead to fill out Hedgehog's wardrobe on the cheap. 

That was easy enough to justify. Infants grow quickly and at a somewhat unpredictable rate.  I do not know when Hedgehog will outgrow the 12 month clothing and move on to the 18 month clothing, so I must be prepared or I'm going to be hosed and kid's gonna' have to go naked for a few days while I get my act together.  And I'll probably have to pay full retail for his clothes.  That's just not nice.

But this whole "planning ahead to save money" has taken on a whole new level this week and my child is never going to want for a game to play when he hits preschool age.  Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Ants in the Pants....  we're stocked up.  I had to do it.  I was able to buy seven games (that usually retail for around $10 each) for around $4.  Not $4 each.  $4 for all of them.  How could I pass by an offer like that?

Next thing you know I'm going to be able to go grocery shopping once a week without wasting money or having everything go to waste.

Or worse, become one of those Mom's who starts shopping for Christmas on December 26 - instead of my usual Christmas shopping on December 24.

Is it part of the hormones?  Some change put into place because of the breastfeeding?  I just don't understand.  But I am powerless to resist.

Balance

I think the hardest part of parenting, at least thus far, is finding a balance between me as parent and me as individual.

I spend the majority of Hedgehog's waking hours within about 10 feet of him, and the majority of his sleeping hours within 30-40 feet of him.  If I venture outside of that radius the cell phone is generally at the ready the entire time I am gone, waiting for the call that he needs me.  I have to schedule my sleeping, eating, showering and using the restroom around his needs.  It is truly an all-consuming job.

But I want to make sure it doesn't consume all of me.  I know that to be the best mom I can be I need to still be my own person and do my own things.  It will do Hedgehog well to see the diverse interests his parents pursue as he gets older - so that we might encourage him to pursue his own interests.  It will allow me many more opportunities to interact and teach him on so many different levels.  Cooking and knitting and gardening and travel and sports and reading and music and debate - these are all great things for a kid to learn about, and as the little guy gets to the age of formal schooling they can offer opportunities to help him learn math and science and language and history that will help bring it alive outside of the classroom.

Finding the balance is tough.  Made even tougher by the needs to sleep and eat and wear clean clothes.  It would be very, very easy to allow my identity to be nothing other than "mother" - but I must fight the urge.

I've found that I use Facebook as my barometer.  It's tempting to make every status update related to the Hedgehog.  Especially as he is changing and developing at such a rapid pace.  But I try to make sure I talk about other things as well.  Because then that insures the other things are there and, if they aren't there, it helps reinforce the idea that I need to make time for myself, to do the things that I want to do.

That's a large part of why I've decided to participate in NaBloPoMo this year.  For one, it means I'm going to be writing something every day for a month (and hopefully beyond) so already that's score one for me.  Secondly, if I try to write a blog post about the Hedgehog every day things are going to get awfully boring awfully fast.  "Oh look, today he almost crawled again, but not quite."  So it's going to help keep that balance in place.

Motherhood, it certainly is a juggling act. 

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I am participating in NaBloPoMo this month.  A blog pot a day for every day in November.  The intrinsic desire to write isn't getting my butt into gear at the moment, but I figure the chance to win prizes just might do the trick.

I had a beautiful post planned for today in which I was going to get all philosophical about life and parenthood and stuff, but the Hedgehog was a bit of a stinker today, so I just want to get to sleep.

A big part of navigating the waters this month is going to be figuring out how and where to fit the writing into the schedule, with the caveat that the schedule is always in motion and at the whims of the wee one.

The moral of today's story:  The hedgehog may like chili, but chili doesn't like the hedgehog.  (And, totally irrelevant, but an interesting observation:  He could really care less about avocado but is madly in love with guacamole).

A Different Perspective

The more I read about the health care debate the more my blood boils and I've just got to get this out there before my blood pressure goes through the roof.

Here's my basic opinion:  The health and welfare of me and my loved ones (And my loved ones loved ones.  And their loved ones.  And any other loved ones you might want to put onto the list) should NOT be determined by a profit motive.  Because then the decisions are going to be made based on what will earn the company money rather than what will help maintain your health and well-being.

Sweetie and I have insurance.  Damn good insurance.  When we moved to the 'couv we signed up for the Cadillac of insurance plans available to us.  We knew we'd be working on the hedgehog, and wanted to make sure we were covered for that.  We pay to get the Cadillac.  We consider it money well spent.

Not many people know this, but the Hedgehog is actually Hedgehog v3.0.  I suffered two miscarriages prior to this pregnancy.  That's part of the reason we signed up for the Cadillac of insurance plans, because we didn't know what type of care would be required in order to keep the Hedgehog in there for the duration.

When we arrived in Vancouver I went through tests.  Usually they don't want to start with the tests until you've suffered three miscarriages, but because I am old (by pregnancy standards) they let me cut in line and start with the tests after two miscarriages.

Thanks to the tests (all covered by our insurance without question) we came up with two potential issues that could have been causing the problems, and a plan of attack for both of them.  One of the issues is potentially low progesterone levels.  This is an easy treatment, you just take progesterone supplements from the moment you discover you are pregnant through the end of your first trimester.  (The other issue is not treated quite so easily as it requires a daily injection of blood thinners, but that's another story for another day).

So, I get myself knocked up with the Hedgehog and I get a prescription called in for the progesterone.  When I go to pick it up at the pharmacy I'm told that insurance isn't covering it at this time, that there's some paperwork that needs to be completed by my doctor's office before insurance will foot the bill.  Which I don't have a huge issue with, except it's Friday afternoon and the Doctor is gone for the weekend and so they won't be able to get the paperwork completed until Monday morning.  

And I'm sorry, but when you've been through two miscarriages and the drug that could prevent your third miscarriage is sitting on the other side of the pharmacist's counter from you but they won't let you have it for three days because a piece of paper needs to be filled out... yeah, that doesn't quite work.  So I called the insurance company to ask "Hey, if I pay out of pocket for the first batch of the drug will you reimburse me for it later, once we get all this paperwork sorted out?"

The answer was not only a resounding "NO" but "Don't bother with the paperwork, we will NEVER cover that drug for you.  Because it is a fertility drug."

The drug costs $400/month.  Money we don't necessarily have sitting around - in part because we are paying for the Cadillac of insurance plans.  And my insurance company doesn't want to pay for this drug because they won't pay for fertility treatments.  Except I'm not having fertility treatments.  Know why I'm not having fertility treatments?  Because I'm already knocked up.  I even have the test results (both at home and at the doctor's office) to prove it.

Want to give a pregnant woman a nervous breakdown? Throw that scenario in front of her.  Thankfully I have a saint of a husband who knows when to step in and take over the reins AND knows how to deal with customer service.  And he basically fought his way through the system until he found a person who agreed to cover the drug.  No need for the paperwork from the doctor now, by the time you get to the pharmacy everything should be taken care of.

The kicker?  The labeled use of the drug is for regulation of the menstrual cycle.

So, to quickly review:  My VERY GOOD insurance policy did not want to cover a drug that is manufactured to help women regulate their menstrual flow, that my doctor had prescribed to help preserve my pregnancy because there are women out there who use it as a fertility drug and my insurance policy does not cover fertility treatments.  And the only reason they DID cover the drug was because my husband works well with customer service AND does not like it when his wife is in near hysterics, so he just plowed his way through the system until he got someone to agree to cover it. 

I'm sorry, but vulnerable people should not have to fight for things they are entitled to because someone tries to find a loophole to get out of their obligations.  And as long as the insurance companies are out there trying to make a profit for their stockholders that's what they're going to do as long as they are permitted to do so.  Because for every person like me who fights until she gets what's appropriate there are probably scads of other people who just acquiesce and just pay the $400/month.

If I won the lottery and had the financial ability to sign up everyone in the nation for my very good, non-governmental insurance plan the system would still be broken because they would be more interested in all the profits those new subscribers were interested in rather than helping provide us with medical care.

THAT is why I support health care reform, and why I think you should support it, too.

Resolutely

In both 1998 and 1999 I had the misfortune of being the victim of an idiot running a red light and therefore causing the accident.  (I cannot say an idiot running a red light hitting me, because in 1998 the idiot was going so fast that I actually ended up hitting her).  Thankfully no one was hurt in either instance, there were witnesses present to attest to what happened, and the idiot's insurance covered everything.  Still, not fun at all, and nothing I ever want to repeat.

So, come 2000 my New Year's resolution was simple:  No car wrecks for the entire year.

For the first, and only, time in my life I KNOW I can say I kept that resolution!

This year's resolution is similarly passive:  Have a kid.

I figure the impact of having said child is large enough that it's unnecessary to take on other self-improvement type projects for the year.  Although, if I were a betting woman I'd also add "Lose weight, for real this time" to the list - but that's more from the fact that as of 32 weeks I've MAYBE gained a pound of weight, and Hedgehog's currently weighing in at around 5 lbs 6 ozs giver or take a pound.

Speaking of which:  Hedgehog has officially been downgraded from "monster-sized baby" to simply "big baby" as of yesterday's ultrasound.  80th%ile size-wise, but if current measurements and growth estimates are accurate we're looking at a 9-9.5 pound baby.  No official word from the doctor on this yet, but last time we spoke on the size issue she basically said "Women deliver 9 pound babies all the time, but if it's going to be an 11 pounder I'd like to be prepared for that in advance"

Off to get working on my resolution now.  Today we buy furniture and paint.

Out With The Old

I'm finally emerging from my cocoon to re-enter the land of the living.

It's been an odd holiday season this year.  Usually I'm all about the Christmas.  I was excited that I finally had space for a TREE and DECORATIONS and we could really do it up right.  But the schedule was weird this year, which made it hard to simultaneously find the time and energy to get the ball rolling on that.  Being 7 months pregnant didn't help things any.  So I finally just gave up on it all.

But there were still to be CELEBRATIONS filled with PRESENTS.  Which there were, but thanks to the snow that descended upon the Northwest for the past few weeks it turned getting the shopping and preparations done into much more of a chore than an adventure.  In at least a couple of cases my gift-giving was majorly influenced by the weather, as I did not have access to the stores I wanted or time to really hunt down that PERFECT gift and just had to make-do.  (Thankfully, the recipients of the gifts in question seemed very pleased with what they did end up with, so all is well).  Even getting to have the celebrations was a bit hit-or-miss.  It was a little touch-and-go as to whether or not we would make it up to Seattle for TRP's family gathering.  Were it not for a little bit of luck, an all wheel drive car, sheer willpower, and stalking the hour-by-hour feature on The Weather Channel's website we never would have made it.  My family's gathering was postponed until this last weekend, to give my parents time to thaw out a wee bit. 

To add insult to injury, I came down with the world's most vicious cold on Christmas morning.  So I couldn't even enjoy the day snuggled up with my Sweetie, engaging in our traditional Christmas picnic.  It was strictly cup-of-soup and hot cocoa for me.  Seems there's some discrepancy on whether or not it's OK to take cold medicine or decongestants when you are knocked-up.  Doctor says many are OK, pharmacist says any of them can cause an unhealthy rise in blood pressure.  I played it safe and stuck to incessant moaning and neti pot usage to try and come out of this thing alive.

It's made me glad that we're about to turn the calendar over to another year.  Tomorrow I've got two doctor's appointments (regular check-up with the OB and the 7th ultrasound of the pregnancy to see if Hedgehog is still a monster-sized baby), and January is filled with classes and preparations for the birth.  Now that the social obligations are out of the way life can be all preparing for baby all the time from now until the kiddo arrives.

When I look back at my life I suspect that 2008 is going to just be a blip on the screen, if that.  2007 saw leaving the Puget Sound and buying this house.  2009 is going to give us a kid.  How can 2008 compare to either of those?

But on further reflection, 2008 might be even more stellar than that.  This is the year that we started to turn our house into a home.  The home where we will raise Hedgehog, and any future wildlife we may have.  I fully suspect that this will be the home they live in when they graduate from high school and where they bounce back to in their 20's when they need to move home with Mom and Dad for a spell.  This is also the year that I made a freaking kid.  Which is the most fucking surreal thing ever on the face of the planet because it's a pretty darn passive action for something with so much activity going on.

A Poll

The question:  Should I go through with the hare-brained scheme or not?

• Everyone is encouraged to vote on the poll, even if you choose to do so anonymously
• No, you will not know what the hare-brained scheme is before you must vote.
• Regardless of the outcome I may (or may not) tell you what the scheme (potentially) was.
• If you know the scheme (there are a few of you that do) you MAY vote but you may NOT indicate what the scheme is.  If the scheme is divulged I will NOT complete the scheme.
• I reserve the right to not complete the scheme, even if it is an overwhelming vote in favor, but I will be taking the public's view on the scheme into strong consideration when making my final decision.

I will divulge this much:  IF the hare-brained scheme takes place, it will likely take place during Sweetie's Christmas holiday and will definitely take place before Hedgehog's arrival.  That's all the hint you get.

Notorious

Today I decided to walk to the World Wide Knit In Public Day event being held in the 'Couv.  It's just over 2 miles away, mostly downhill, and I could simultaneously be a lazy ass and take the bus home.

While walking through my neighborhood I came across a house that was for sale and stopped a moment to check out the flier out front.  Mainly to see what it was listed for, to see how badly the market had dipped since we've moved in.  The house has 1 fewer bedroom and only 1 bathroom and is listed for $10k less than what we purchased the House of Swank for, so I think we're doing OK.

Anyhow, there was a gentleman at the neighboring house out doing yard work who commented to me that I had just moved into the neighborhood, so shouldn't be looking to move already.  He recognized me from the latest neighborhood meeting.

That would be the meeting where I told the transportation committee that if they didn't support a recommendation that brought transit through our neighborhood they were not honoring the wishes of the majority of people within the neighborhood based on survey results.  I think I made a few enemies at that meeting, but I also made a couple of friends. 

This gentleman was not amongst the friends.

But we still had a nice chat for a few minutes about things completely unrelated to transit and transportation.

I suspect soon I'm going to become "that girl" - since I am making myself known and am not afraid to speak up. 

If I can be "that girl" walking to the max stop in 10 years I'll be very, very happy, indeed.